One of the hardest aspects of going through a divorce is the loss of self-confidence. It does not matter who is at fault, you are probably finding it difficult to believe in yourself. This is perfectly normal.
However, you need to move on with your life. That includes picking yourself up and rebuilding that shaky self-confidence. After all, your life isn’t over. A brand new chapter is about to begin.
Divorce Is A Loss
Regardless of how relieved you are for the papers to be signed and to be free, your life has changed. What you worked so hard to build has come crashing down. Acknowledge the pain. Give yourself time to go through the basic stages of grief. Don’t underestimate the importance of this. Accepting your emotions does not meet you will act on them.
While many divorcees begin the recovery process with a diet and a new wardrobe, understand that the real battle is won in your mindset. How you think is at the root of your new self-self-confidence. Build your confidence and a positive mindset one step at a time – one positive action at a time. The way you think absolutely influences the way you act. If you have been thinking negatively, you probably have been acting negatively. Use the power of the mind to turn your life around.
Let go of the past
This isn’t easy, especially when you are grieving and are still filled with anger and pain. Instead of living in the past, envision a better future. You can’t change what happened, but now, you have control over what will happen. The possibilities are limitless. Remember, you are in control now. And control builds self-confidence.
You need to refocus that negative mindset. Consider an event that brought you undiluted glee and happiness. Close your eyes and feel the joy flowing through you as you remember. Are you smiling? This is the feeling you want to capture. Focus on this moment, and your mindset will shift from negative to positive.
Find a relaxing place and do this for a few minutes every day. The return on the time you invest is invaluable.
Embrace the New You
In its own way, divorce is a teacher. The process teaches you a great deal about how you cope, what you are capable of handling, and what you are truly looking for in life. Use this knowledge to continue building your confidence. Welcome changes and challenges. You are in the process of creating the best version of yourself.
Taking control of your new life is empowering. And empowerment increases your self-confidence. Do something new every day – eat out alone in a restaurant, chat with a stranger, anything you are not used to doing. Action builds confidence. No fairy will come to make you feel better. Your magic wand lies in the fact that you control and make things happen for yourself.
You are on a new and difficult road. Don’t be afraid of failure. Learn from it and keep moving. As you grow in self-confidence, you are building the courage to face anything ahead.
Remember that progress does not have to look like a straight line.
Prepare to Start Over
Your life has taken on a new and unexpected direction. If you are not exactly sure where you are headed, that is okay. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. Rebuild your life and your self-confidence by meeting new people and doing new things (volunteer work, for example). You will quickly learn what gives you pleasure and what doesn’t.
How Do You See Yourself?
It took years for you to become the person you are. Every choice led up to this moment. In effect, we are the sum of all the choices we’ve made. Our past decisions influence how we see ourselves.
Make a list of your positive habits and accomplishments. What makes you unique? Review this list daily, if possible. Seeing all the good you’ve made happen so far will give your self-confidence a tremendous boost. Keep a diary of how you have grown. How you’ve made mistakes and learned from them. Seeing the big-screen picture of your life will help you define an amazing future.
Don’t think of the end of your marriage as a failure. Consider it a challenge met, a lesson learned, and a door opening to something even better.
Ask for Help
As we have mentioned, divorce is difficult. Never be afraid to ask for help, either from a therapist or a trusted friend.
The legal process can get difficult, which is why we always recommend that you seek the assistance of counsel; or at least have a consultation. Schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys today to review the issues of your case, the legal options you may have, and certain rights that pertain to your unique situation.
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