Family LAw Psychology Relationships Self-Care Self-Help

What kind of people do Narcissists target?

Narcissists will initially target a partner who is confident, strong-willed, self-sufficient, successful, talented and even admired by others.

A common misconception I see with my clients who are divorcing a narcissists is that they are at a point where they feel they are vulnerable, weak, easily manipulated or a naïve individual to get into a relationship with a narcissist in the first place. But this is simply not true.

Narcissists will initially target a partner who is confident, strong-willed, self-sufficient, successful, talented and even admired by others for their talents and successes. Often targets are thriving in a career, have a positive public image, have strong and healthy friendships and family relationships, and some targets have a deep spiritual and religious faith.

Narcissists are attracted to these people for two reasons: 1. Want to be aligned with a partner who will make them feel special and look impressive in the public eye and to other people. 2.  The narcissist sees a challenge in their target’s mental and emotional confidence, strong-will and success, and the narcissist will want to break the target down to make themselves feel powerful and superior—basically, gain control over the target.

The common theme here is that it is all control. Narcissists want to have control over their partner. When a narcissist exercises that control and power, they find the relationship successful. In some instances, they may even find entertainment and joy out of destroying another person.

Conclusion

When you’re divorcing a narcissist, remember your successes and strengths you exhibited prior to the relationship. And prepare. Narcissists will attempt to make a divorce messy and draw it out as long as possible. Again, for that control factor.

The legal process can get difficult, which is why we always recommend that you seek the assistance of counsel; or at least have a consultation. Schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys today to review the issues of your case, the legal options you may have, and certain rights that pertain to your unique situation.

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3 comments

  1. Whoah…. This his new deep, I thought my ex fiancée chose me in my moment of vulnerability. Not because of my status and my beliefs.he did soak in my knowledge like sponge tho after he assaulted me for 1 not being naive enough to fall for ye manipulation 2. Seeing through his bullshit 3 . Called him out on the bullshit 4. Didn’t enable the behavior nor his drug and alcohol addiction

    Yehh double whammy a narcissistic addict who. Self medicated his bi polar and multiple personality disorders . What a piece of work dated a month and he couldn’t handle my strength.

    Yet we talked and developed the friendship for four years. Hmmm I really thought it was the moment of vulnerability when we first started talking 6 months after I broke up with another individual. This was 😉👌

    1. Hi Rarenwise! Thank you for your comment. Yes, surprisingly, narcissists look for people with positive qualities. It’s all about their ego. Perhaps your moment of vulnerability was what your ex saw as a perfect opportunity to try his manipulation tactics. Based on your comment, it does not seem like that worked on you. Which is great! Thank you for providing us with your personal insight on this!!

      1. I want elf to believe that’s what it was but by the time it took this guy to finally step up and into a relationship with me I was long gone and far away from that vulnerable state

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