Going through a breakup is life-changing. Sometimes, it feels like losing the best part of yourself, or like losing a family member. Even if there is a sense of relief, there is usually an even greater feeling of loss. If your partner broke things off, you would feel rejected; if you did the breaking off, you may feel guilty. Whatever the emotions may be, they will likely be overwhelming for a while.
Still, you need to adjust to the new situation. You are used to doing things as a couple. Can you even remember how life was when you were single?
First, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. You have friends to talk to. And a therapist can offer a great deal of support. Your emotions are probably on overdrive, and it is important to work through them, even the negative ones. Especially the negative ones. Therapy helps.
Therapy helps your process your feelings:
It takes time to get over a divorce or breakup. There is a necessary period of mourning that people need to go through. The details rarely diminish the pain. Unless you take the time to go through your feelings of loss, your negative emotions will remain with you. It’s almost certain they will resurface when you begin dating someone else. Baggage can get heavy, so it’s always a good idea to clear the load before recreating a new social life.
There is no need to go into all the details with your friends. Just being surrounded by positivity can be a great help (this is not the time for negative friends). At the very least, you can admit to your friends that you are going through a rough time. If you are not getting the support you need from them, or the people you know are too involved with your ex, this is the perfect time to consider therapy. With therapy, you will get the support and wisdom from a third-party who has no emotional ties to you. This is gold, because now is the time for you to get honest and sound advice.
Therapy helps identify inner issues:
Do not consider therapy a sign of weakness—quite the contrary. Therapy is a useful tool that intelligent people who want to move ahead utilize. For many, revealing our innermost thoughts to a stranger seems embarrassing. But keeping your feelings bottled up without dealing with them will only have you repeat the mistakes that led to your breakup.
The sadness surrounding a breakup is a good reason to see a therapist. Depression will hold you back until you deal with it. And it will follow you faithfully into your next relationship, ready to cause more havoc. Better to deal with it sooner than later.
Therapy prepares you for dealing with future issues:
Therapy involves more than simply spilling your guts. It involves acquiring valuable tools for living. That means that therapy will not only help you through this crisis but it will provide you with the skills to handle future crises – or avoid them altogether.
Going through a trauma such as a breakup can affect us physically and weaken our immune system. We can suffer from damaging stress, insomnia, headaches, ulcers, and other ills that will only get worse. Talking to a therapist and handling all the negativity will not only heal you emotionally but physically, as well.
It helps you learn about yourself:
You will learn a great deal about yourself in therapy. And you will begin to understand other people better. Therapy tends to eliminate a lot of negativity from our lives and replace it with healthy, life-affirming positivity. You will be attracting more positive, nurturing people into your life.
If you have children, the lessons you learn in therapy can be invaluable. Many family problems turn into generational problems, passed down from parent to child. When you learn better ways of dealing with life’s challenges, your children will be the beneficiary of that knowledge. You do not need to pass your mistakes and bad habits onto them. The buck stops with you.
The time following a breakup or divorce can be difficult. However, it can also be a great opportunity for a new beginning. Consider seeing a therapist discuss your feelings and learning valuable coping skills. It’s an excellent investment in a better future and a stronger you.
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