Life is unpredictable and can affect how we feel about our partner. With so many outside forces influencing your romantic relationship, it’s a great idea to have a regular discussion (consider it a check-up) to discuss any potential problems and keep them from growing.
Such a discussion will prove emotionally beneficial in the long run – just like eating your veggies will benefit your physical health in the long run. There are seven general topics that we will cover in addition to any specific concerns you may have.
Consider the topics below. You and your partner should answer them in private before comparing your answers. Even if your relationship is in tip-top health (good for you), this is still an excellent way of getting to know each other on an even deeper level and making a good thing even better.
How Well Do You Play Together?
Laughter and good humor need to be a part of any intimate relationship. It indicates that you can put normal problems aside for a while and simply revel in each other’s company. Ask yourself:
- How often do you enjoy doing things together?
- How often are you and your partner open to being impulsive?
- Are you two able to put normal problems (paying bills, etc.) aside for a while and just enjoy yourselves?
- Do you laugh controllably?
- Are you both amused at the same things?
What Dreams Do You Share?
You and your beloved should have reasonably similar dreams and visions of your future. How would you handle a monetary windfall – or crisis? What is your bucket list travel destination? Let your imagination soar. Answers to these and similar questions will reveal a lot about the inner you. Sometimes people don’t reveal their dreams because they are embarrassed but sharing our secrets with our partner can be very freeing.
- How often do you and your partner discuss your fantasies?
- Do you feel secure in sharing your innermost thoughts without fear of ridicule?
Trust is the backbone of any relationship. You should be able to discuss anything with your partner without fear of ridicule or disdain. Basic trust is established by repeatedly doing what you promised to do. It’s as simple as that. Answer the following questions:
- Are you able to reveal your most embarrassing thoughts?
- Can you share the important things in your life?
- Do you trust your partner to be at your side when needed?
- Do you trust him or her to keep your secrets?
- Do you feel secure enough in your relationship to be certain your partner will not reject you if you gain a few pounds or are in less than a good mood?
Working The Relationship As A Team
A relationship involves at least two people. Some partners assign “roles,” such you one will do the cooking while the other does the laundry. These are personal decisions and should be based on whatever is most convenient.
Roles are flexible and can change. When you are a team, it is important to be able to disagree while keeping the relationship moving ahead. Both parties need to be invested equally in the relationship. Ask yourself:
- Does your partner do what is expected of him or her?
- Does your partner keep his or her promises?
- Will you and your partner be honest about not being able to fulfill his or her role (your plans were to go to dinner, but now it is necessary for you to work late)?
- Are the responsibilities as a couple shared equality? Relationships are a team sport, not a solo act.
Disagreements in a relationship are normal. re you focused on an optimum solution for both of you, or is your main concern “being right.” When disagreements arise, active listening becomes crucial. Know what your partner is saying. Hear the words that are left unspoken. If in doubt, ask for clarification. Are you working as a team or as adversaries? Ask yourself:
- Do you feel safe disagreeing with your partner? You should. Couples who “never argue” are usually ignoring important problems.
- Do you really listen to your partner, or do you simply wait for your turn to speak?
- Do you take both of your points of view into consideration?
- Do you understand your partner’s point of view?
- Are you happier within the relationship than you would be without it?
Every Adult Has An Inner Child
Most adults find themselves thrown into situations that subconsciously spark childhood memories. This can be difficult for both partners. It is important to accept that inner child in your partner. Ask yourself:
- Would your partner’s childlike habits be acceptable to you if he or she were a child?
- How compassionate are you when your partner deals with subconscious memories and difficulties?
- Can you accept your partner as is, or would you want to change him or her?
- When your partner is feeling lost and childlike, are you able to be the temporary adult in the relationship? Are you sensitive to what he or she is going through?
How Does Your Own Inner Child Feel?
We have discussed you accepting your partner’s inner child. However, it is equally important for your partner to accept the child within you. Is he or she accepting, or does your partner shift to being critical, as in, “You’re nagging just like your mother,” or “You never listen, just like your father.” Ask yourself:
- Do you feel comforted when your inner child surfaces?
- Does your partner put your needs temporarily ahead of his or her own when necessary?
- Is your partner nurturing like a parent or critical like a parent? Consider the difference.
- Would your partner have made a good parent for you?
Providing your relationship with an occasional “check-up” is as important as your annual physical exam. It nips small problems in the bud and keeps them from growing.
The legal process can get difficult, which is why we always recommend that you seek the assistance of counsel; or at least have a consultation. Schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys today to review the issues of your case, the legal options you may have, and certain rights that pertain to your unique situation.
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