Marriage is the ultimate fairy tale. However, has anyone noticed that all fairy tales end just prior to the marriage taking place? We rarely see the work involved to keep a marriage happy and successful. A thriving relationship needs nurturing. There are things all happily married couples can focus on to help their relationship thrive.
Have an Interest in Your Spouse’s Interests
We all are passionate about certain things in life. While it is not necessary to share each of your partner’s passions, you should indicate an interest. Show that what is important to him or her is important to you, as well. Perhaps you could care less about football, but you care enough about your spouse to huddle up on the sofa with him during the game and cheer at appropriate moments. Don’t do it grudgingly. Do so because few things are more important to you than your partner.
Don’t be surprised that if you are indifferent to your partner’s interests, he or she will meet someone who isn’t.
Yes, you should have shared interests with your spouse. On the other hand, each partner also needs his or her own pursuits. We marry our soul mate and an individual, not our clone. There should be enough differences between you and your spouse to maintain curiosity.
Be Constructive in Your Disagreements
Disagreements are not just normal, they are healthy and expected. Many couples either argue or compromise. They forget to discuss and listen. You may be at odds about where to spend your vacation. So, you argue or go along with your spouse to avoid an argument. And you feel resentful.
There is a better and healthier way. Discuss your wants and listen to what your spouse wants. Active listening is not the same as hearing words. When you actively listen, you hear what is behind the words. Perhaps your spouse demands to go to the beach. When you listen carefully, you may hear that he is less interested in sand and water than he is in total relaxation. Now you have something constructive to work with.
Partners who are committed to each other work as a team. They may have individual goals, but their marriage thrives when they work on their shared goals together.
Don’t be afraid of talking about finances
Finances fuels many marital arguments. Here, again, you need to do some active listening. Which one of you should manage the finances? What are your future financial plans? Clarification on these points is important. Perhaps you consider your spouse cheap because he argues about every outgoing cent. But if you listen, you might learn that he grew up poor and his biggest ambition is to save enough money for a house. Maybe he isn’t cheap; if you listen, you may learn he has a dream for both of you.
Don’t Hesitate to Meet With a Therapist
It is a myth to assume only couples in crisis see a counselor or therapist. Couples who want to achieve better communication and resolve issues seek counseling. Discussing a problem with a neutral third party can provide valuable insight. Instead of letting a situation dissolve into resentment, a better understanding can strengthen the bonds between you.
Remember When You Were Dating?
The good old days. Remember how you encouraged each other and pampered each other with small gestures. You helped build his confidence for a job interview; he surprised you with your favorite take-out ribs for dinner. These gestures were important. Sometimes, this behavior can be lost after marriage. That is when the relationship begins to weaken. Start dating again. Get tickets to your spouse’s favorite musician. Send flower to his or her office. It’s how you fell in love in the first place.
It can benefit your marriage considerably if you schedule a regular date each week. Get dressed up, go someplace nice, and just have some fun. When was the last time you made fun a priority?
When to meet with an attorney to plan for the future
A pre-or postnuptial agreement does not have to indicate mistrust. For example, if one partner (and one partner alone) comes into a large inheritance, that money is not considered marital property in the State of Florida. It belongs solely to the heir, who can arrange for a family law attorney to create a postnuptial agreement to ensure that his or her wishes are respected after his or her death.
A discussion about meeting with a family law attorney can be awkward. But such a meeting can prevent serious problems before they occur. Protecting your wishes and interests does not mean you two don’t love each other.
Say Something Nice
It’s too easy to take your partner for granted. Easier still to complain about the clothes being left on the floor and the toothpaste being uncapped. When was the last time you complimented him or her? A simple, “You’re looking great today,” can do wonders.
While we’re on the subject of speaking, it’s a good idea to ask your partner an interesting question every day. The topic doesn’t matter. Sparking an interesting discussion does. Become the stimulating person he or she married in the first place.
The Past is Over. Avoid Time Travel
How often do couples rehash past transgressions? Being stuck in the past is not healthy for your relationship. Perhaps mistakes were made. Dwelling on them and constantly going over the misdeeds will only cause a rift between you. Deal with the past, then let it go. To strengthen your relationship, focus on the present and consider the future.
Good marriages don’t just happen – not even in fairy tales. People need to work on their relationships. They should be working on themselves, as well, Eating healthfully and exercising will bring out the best in you. You’ll build greater self-esteem. And there is nothing sexier than a positive mood and self-confidence.
The legal process can get difficult, which is why we always recommend that you seek the assistance of counsel; or at least have a consultation. Schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys today to review the issues of your case, the legal options you may have, and certain rights that pertain to your unique situation.
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